Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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