it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My balls are so social today.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
