do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
