oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
