Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
