looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
