i just google imaged poop.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
