You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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