All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
