week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
