Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
