Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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