Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?

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(562): View more from California

it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with

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(304): View more from West Virginia

If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason

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(503): View more from Oregon

She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

(503): View more from Oregon

Employee of the year! :)

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(404): View more from Georgia

The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go

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(903): View more from Texas

I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.

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