You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
