she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
