I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
organizing the empties. That sober.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
