he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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