You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
