I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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