I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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