I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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