dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
