Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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