you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
