she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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