this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
