so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
