Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
