remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
