Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I want her autograph on my taint
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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