If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
