Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
