I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I need to calm my uterus...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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