just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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