what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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