we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
