So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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