He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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