I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
