I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
