we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
love makes seman taste better
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
