well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
