This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dicks are not precious.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
