Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
