I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
