DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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