talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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