8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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