I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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