ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
